Difficulty in Relationships: The Belief That You Won’t Be Enough for Anyone

From the beginning of time, we have been wired for connection. Humans need it not only to survive but to thrive. From the moment we’re born, connection is necessary in order for us to grow and learn. We learn how to communicate through connection. We get our needs met through connection. We find safety through connection. We establish a sense of identity thorough connection. Connection to others is a core component of being alive. The study of attachment echoes this. When we are cut off from connection at an early age, for whatever reason (abandonment, abuse, neglect, intergenerational trauma, and more), how we act in relationships can change. We might cut ourselves off from our needs in order to become close. Or we might distrust others and refuse to become close. We might hesitate to form friendships or relationships because “everyone ends up leaving.” We might sabotage healthy relationships. We might even believe we have to go at it completely and totally alone. That can lead some to carry certain stories about relationships. if we carry a story that relationships don’t end well, we show up from that place. If we carry a story that we aren’t deserving of being loved for who we are, we show up from that place. If we carry a story that everyone will leave, we show up from that place. It isn’t our fault, but when we aren’t aware of our story about what it means to be connected to others, we aren’t able to find the meaningful connections we deserve.

#stewartlifecoaching #youareenough #believeinyourself