See yourself from the balcony
Benjamin Franklin, known as a ghighly practical and sscientific man, relected in Poor Richard’s Almanack, or than two and a half centuries ago. “There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.” His adivce was “Observe all men; thyself most.” If you observe yourself and others in moments of stree during negotiation and conflict, you will notice how easily people become triggered by the other person’s words, tone of voice, and actions. In virtually every dispute I have ever mediated-whether it is a marital spat, an argument in the office, or a civil war- the pattern is reaction followed by reaction followed by yet another reaction. None of these common reations serves our true interests. Once the fight or flight reaction gets triggered, the blood flows from our brain to your limbs, and our ability to think clearly diminishes.