D.E.A.R.M.A.N. To Talk About Your Needs And Wants…

How to talk about your needs at work?

I’m not a fan of arguments either — you know what I mean?

Here’s something we can try:
→    The DEARMAN method

Let’s imagine you wanna tell your boss you need a day off.
Here’s how to do it.

1.    D — Describe the situation

Start with the facts.

Ask yourself:
→    What’s actually going on?

For example you could say:
“I’ve been working on several big projects lately, and I haven’t taken any personal time in a while.”

2.    E — Express your feelings

Now that you’ve described the situation, share how it affects you.
Try using “I feel” statements.
For example you could say:
“I’m starting to feel a bit overwhelmed, and I think a day off would help me recharge and come back more focused.”

3.    A — Assert what you need

Now, be direct about what you want.
You could say something like:
“I’d like to take Friday off to have some time to rest and take care of myself.”

4.    R — Reinforce the positives

Now, explain why this helps both of you — a win-win!
For example, you could say:
“You know, Chloe, taking a day to recharge would allow me to come back refreshed and ready to tackle the upcoming deadlines.”

5.    M — Be Mindful

Now for the interesting part.
If your boss tries to argue or change the topic, gently bring it back.
Stay calm and stick to your points.

For example, if your boss says:
→    “You know, Hudson, we’re really busy this week”
you could respond:
→    “I get that, Chloe, and I’m happy to prioritize anything urgent before I go.”
That “urgent thing” is gonna be over one way or another.

6.    A — Appear confident

Confidence matters, right?

Even if you’re nervous (which is totally normal), try this:
→    Speak like there’s nothing you believe in more than what you’re saying

Align your words with your posture — stand or sit up straight.
And try to maintain eye contact.

And try to avoid phrases like:
→    “If that’s okay…”
or
→    “I don’t know if this is possible…”
They don’t exactly show confidence, do they?

7.    N — Negotiate

Yep! You gotta be ready to negotiate.
If they push back, try to find some middle ground.
For example you could say:
“If Friday isn’t ideal, I’d be happy to take Monday off instead, or adjust my schedule to make sure everything gets covered.”