How to Drive Away Self-Blame

Have you ever found yourself saying:
→   “It’s all my fault”
→   “I should have done better”
→   “I can’t believe I messed up so badly”

If so, no worries, no judgment.
We’re here to improve, not to judge ourselves, right? 😊
Great!
Here is an exercise you can do to drive away self-blame.
We’re gonna follow 6 steps.
Ready?
Let’s get started!

1. Take your special Journal.
If you don’t have one, buy the most beautiful one you can find.
And of course a pen.

2. Write down the specific negative thought you’re struggling with.
For example, imagine that you made a mistake in a project at work.
And imagine you’re continually saying, “It was all my fault!”.
Well, write down this: “It was all my fault!” (even if we know it’s not true, right?😉)

3. Now write down any evidence that supports that negative thought.
But pay attention: you have to write them down specifically and objectively.

What do I mean by “specifically” and “objectively”?
→   Specifically = with as much detail as possible, without faking it.
→   Objectively = stepping outside your own perspective and taking a look at yourself from an outside viewpoint.
“Uhm, okay, how?”

By answering this question:
→   What actions or events make me believe it’s all my fault?

4. Now challenge your negative thought by making a list of evidence that contradicts the previous evidence.
How?

By considering:
→   actions of other people
→   external events and situations
→   alternative perspective.

5. Now, based on your new perspective, reevaluate your negative thought.
Do this:
→   On a scale from 0 to 10, where 0 is “the perspective hasn’t shifted at all” and 10 is “the perspective has completely shifted”, rate the perspective shift.

For example, 9.

6. Create a more realistic thought based on your new perspective, and write it down.

For example:
→   “This project went wrong not only because of my mistake but also because my colleague turned in their work late. It’s not all my fault!”