It’s All About Me

In a well-known Greek myth, a handsome young man rejects the advances of a smitten nymph and, as punishment, is doomed to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Spellbound, he pines away-ultimately transforming into the flower that bears his name: Narcissus. This tale, immortalized by Ovid, has survived for so long and carries so munch emotional resonance because it carries the shock of familiarity. We’ve all encountered self absorbed people similar to Narcissus. This will help you cope with them by helping you understand them, including how they got to be that way and what lies beneath their apparent self ardor. I’m special. If we say that someone is a narcissist, we probably don’t mean it as a compliment. The word is usually used pejoratively, implying that someone is conceited, egocentric, and selfish. But self-regard, as with many character traits, falls on a continuum. In moderation, positive self-regard is an essential component of a healthy psyche. It enables us to have fulfilling relationships (if we don’t care for ourselves, it’s not likely others will). It also gives us self-confidence-that can do attitude that helps us get ahead. Indeed, people without a healthy self-regard can be self-destructive and masochistic. Excessive exclusive self-regard, however, is a problem. for the person consumed with it-for they are wrapped up in illusion and insatiable longing. But if you deal with narcissists in your personal life, your work life, or in the world at large, you also know that certain people’s self-absorption can be a problem for you. The narcissistic people we encounter manifest obvious traits of greediness and neediness. Obvious to us, that is. They, however, believe that they are special and therefore entitled to certain things, such as recognition, flattery, and favors. They feel that rules are fine, for others, but the rules don’t necessarily apply to them. They are exceptional, and therefore merit exceptions in the form of preferential treatment and blind loyalty. In personal relationships, this sense of entitlement can lead narcissists to believe it’s acceptable to honor commitments only when it suits them, and to remain oblivious to the legitimate needs of family, friends, and lovers. At work, it can mean they take all the credit, shirk any hard work, and point the finger at others for their own mistakes or oversights. In social situations, it can translate to all kinds of inconsiderate and disrespectful behavior. Simply put, narcissist believe that their needs take precedence in any group.