Infidelity Is a Profound Challenge

One of the most common reasons people end relationships is cheating. According to data from community health centers, of couples where a partner had admitted to cheating, only 15.6% of relationships were able to recover. There are all sorts of issues that can lead to one partner betraying the other, and there are whole books on processing it, but there is no question that once trust is broken, only deep work and commitment on both sides can rebuild it. In NOT “Just Friends,” psychologist and infidelity expert Dr. Shirley Glass writes that in the aftermath of cheating, it’s natural to want to end the relationship immediately, and that may be the right decision. But it can be hard to tell when emotions are running hot. “Even if you’re still not sure whether that (relationship) can be saved,” she writes, “you shouldn’t make your decision based on the lowest point in your relationship…To do the hard work ahead of exploring the meaning of the infidelity, you will need to build a foundation of commitment, caring, and compassionate communication.” For the partner who was cheated on, that includes putting your own best foot forward. “You and your partner can work together to create a healing atmosphere that is calm, where information can be shared and where caring begins to bind you together again. (And you) can start making specific repairs to the relationship that will help each of you feel more connected.”