The Two Keys to Compassionate Communication

We communicate to be understood and to understand others. If we’re talking and no one is listening (maybe not even our own selves), we’re not communicating effectively There are two keys to effective and true communication. The first is deep listening. The second is loving speech. Deep listening and loving speech are the best instruments I know for establishing and restoring communication with others and relieving suffering. We all want to be understood. When we interact with another person, particularly if we haven’t practiced mindfulness of our own suffering and listened well to our own selves, we’re anxious for others to understand us right away. We want to begin by expressing ourselves. But talking first like that doesn’t usually work. Deep listening needs to come first. Practicing mindfulness of suffering recognizing and embracing the suffering in oneself and in the other person will give rise to the understanding necessary for good communication. When we listen to someone with the intention of helping that person suffer less, this is deep listening. When we listen with compassion, we don’t get caught in judgment. A judgment may form, but we don’t hold on to it. Deep listening has the power to help us create a moment of joy, a moment of happiness, and to help us handle a painful emotion.

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