9 Psychological Traits of Empathetic People

Lack of empathy?

Here’s a tool for you:
→   The Empathetic Letter

Ready?
We’re gonna step into someone else’s shoes.
So we can understand their feelings more deeply.
It’s a real exercise to boost your empathy.
We’re gonna follow 6 steps.
Let’s dive in!

1.    First off, recall a recent talk with someone.

It could be:
→    A conflict with your partner
→    A disagreement with a colleague
→    A normal conversation with a friend

Just remember that talk.

2.    Now reflect on this question:
→    What were the other person’s feelings and emotions during that interaction?

Imagine you’ve recalled a conflict with your partner.

Their feelings/emotions could be:
→    Frustrated
→    Stressed
→    Anxious
→    Angry
→    Sad
→    …

3.    Now do this:
→    Put yourself in their shoes and try to see the situation from their point of view.

Make sure to consider as many factors as possible.
For example:
→    Their background
→    Their last few days
→    Their past experiences
→    Their communication style

Just put yourself in their position.

You can do it:
→    with eyes opened
→    or with eyes closed

Try to stay in their shoes for at least 2 minutes.

4.    Now take your journal and do this:
→    Write a letter to yourself from their perspective.

Yep! You got it right!
Stay in their shoes and write a letter to yourself.

Now your question is:
→    “Okay, but what do I have to write in that letter?”

Great question!

Here’s the answer:
→    Describe what happened in that talk as if you were them.

This means conveying:
→    Their worries
→    Their feelings
→    Their thoughts
→    Their emotions
→    Their perspective

You should literally write a letter as if you were them.

5.    After writing the letter, do this:
→    Come back in your shoes
→    Compare your letter (with their perspective) with your perspective.
Ask yourself:
→    Are there some similarities between their perspective and mine?
→    Are there some differences between their perspective and mine?

6.    Now try to identify your “empathy gaps”.

Meaning where you’ve lacked empathy — based on their perspective.

This is how you can improve your empathy.

This exercise is gonna give you two big gifts:

1. More awareness of your empathy gaps, so you can figure out where to improve next time.

2.    More empathy — putting ourselves in others’ shoes is the best empathy tool.


Now your question could be:
→    How many times do I need to do that?

Well, there isn’t a right answer.
As we know, the more we practice empathy, the more empathetic we become.
But yes, starting with a weekly letter could be a great move! Right?