The Pyramid of Validation-How to Help a Friend in Need

How to help a friend going through a tough time?

Let’s see how to use the Pyramid of Validation.

It helps you show support to your friend in a meaningful way.

(P.S. We’re gonna call your friend Chloe)

1.    Pay attention

Start by really tuning into Chloe.
How?

By:
→    Facing her
→    Making eye contact
→    And using body language that shows you care

For example, let’s say Chloe mentions feeling swamped with tasks.

You can say:
→    “That sounds really tough. What’s been the hardest part for you?”
Just let her know you’re paying attention.

2.    Reflect back

After Chloe shares, use her words to show you understand.

For example, if she says:
→    “I feel like I’m falling behind”

You can respond:
→    “So, you’re feeling like you can’t keep up and are falling behind”

Just use her words.
It creates a sense of familiarity.
That’s why I use your words in my content

3.    “Read minds”

Now, try to pick up on feelings Chloe might not say outright.
You can say:
→    “Um, I wonder if you’re also worried about how your boss views your work?”

Why say that?
Well, because it shows you’re really thinking about her feelings.
Right?

4.    Express understanding

Now, let her know that her feelings make sense.
Especially considering what she has experienced.
Chloe doesn’t want to feel “weird.”
She wants to feel understood.

So say something like:
→    “Given how hard you’ve worked before, it makes sense that this situation feels really heavy”

5.    Acknowledge the valid

Now, help Chloe see that her feelings are normal.

For example you can say:
→    “A lot of people feel this way when facing big projects”
→    “It’s completely understandable to feel that way”

6.    Radical genuineness

Now, share how her situation affects you honestly.

You can say:
→    “You know what, Chloe? I really admire your effort!”
→    “I can see this is tough for you”
→    “I’m here to help if you need anything”

Why say that?

Because it shows that you respect and value her as an equal.
She’ll feel included.
At the end of the day, we’re all just people navigating life together.

Right?