The New Empathy-The Old Empathy

Trying to improve your empathy?
You might be trying too hard. Here’s why:

To start, let’s define empathy:

The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, & vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, & experience of another.

This definition is mostly good, if you remove the “& vicariously experiencing” part.

In efforts to improve our empathy & infuse some much-needed human connection back into our lives, some of us seem to have overcorrected.

Overcorrection looks like:
→ Trying to feel someone else’s emotions (which for many, is impossible)
→ Forgetting boundaries in place (yours & theirs)
→ Losing your self-control, tact, &/or grasp
→ Focusing solely on emotions

Especially that last one… emotions are reactions to stimuli.

Reactions are acute & temporary.

Focusing solely on someone’s emotions is like trying to grab water. 🌊

It’s also short-sided & 2D. 🂱

But listening to / sensing their emotions, thoughts, feelings, & perceptions is more tangible.

It’s more relatable & 3D. 🎲

Use this sheet to reflect on how you show empathy & identify improvement opportunities to empathize in a healthy way.

We are not our emotions.

We are so much more than that.

And we connect deeply with people when we’re using the full picture. 🖼️

We can show empathy to our teams, stakeholders, family, & friends, without getting lost or punishing ourselves in the process.

Remember –

Your empathy North Star is always being present & listening. ⭐️