Quiet People Method 5-How To Unleash The Power Of Introverts

How can you bring out the best in quiet people?

Here’s a tool:
→    Open-ended questions

But there are questions and then there are questions, right?
Not every question works well with introverts.
“Uhm okay, so…?”

So let’s see:
→    5 questions to avoid with them (and why)
→    5 questions to use with them (and why)
Let’s start with the 5 questions to avoid.

1.    “Are you shy?”
Why is this question bad?
Because it can be perceived as judgmental.
And it can make them uncomfortable.
It assumes a personality trait (shy) without knowing them deeply.

2.    “Why are you so quiet?”
Why is this question bad?

For a couple of reasons:
→    It makes them feel pressured
→    They feel self-conscious

3.    “Why don’t you talk more?”
Why is this question bad?
Because it makes them feel inadequate.
They start to think that their communication style is not okay.

4.    “Don’t you like to socialize?”
Why is this question bad?
Because it makes them realize that they don’t enjoy socializing.
But that’s not true!
They simply socialize in a different way — in their own way.

So the risk is that they start to think:
→    “Uhm, I’m not great at socializing”
And that’s not what we want them to realize, right?
5.    “What’s wrong? Are you upset?”
Why is this question bad?
Because you assume they’re in a negative mood.
But that’s not true!
They can be perfectly happy in silence.

Okay, let’s see now the 5 questions to use with them.

1.    “How do you recharge or relax?”
Why is this question great?
Because it lets them know we respect their need for downtime.

2.    “How do you prefer to socialize?”
Why is this question great?
Because it lets them know we wanna understand them better.

3.    “Would you like to join us for …?”
Why is this question great?

For two reasons:
→    We make them feel included
→    We give them autonomy to choose (they love autonomy!!!)

4.    “What are your interests or hobbies?”
Why is this question great?
Because it helps break the ice and get to know each other better.
It also helps you figure out their “world”.

And as we know, when we know others’ worlds we can communicate better.
→    “Uhm, how?”
By using analogies, similarities and metaphors based on their world.

5.    “What topics do you find interesting?”
Why is this question great?
Because it helps them to share their passions.
And they love talking about their passions!
We just need to let them know we’re happy to listen to them.