Internal Self-Awareness-External Self-Awareness

Are you a cookie or a brownie?
Find out which one is the goal:

The biggest driver of your emotional
intelligence is self-awareness.

Self-awareness is accurately recognizing & understanding your own emotions, thoughts, perceptions, strengths, limitations, & identity.

Cultivating self-awareness can look like:
→ Journaling
→ Practicing meditation
→ Attending talk therapy
→ Recognizing & naming your emotions

The part of self-awareness we don’t often
discuss is external self-awareness.

External self-awareness is how others
recognize & understand (or perceive) you.

Maybe you’re thinking…” Ok, cool.
And why should I care?” 🤔

Knowing how others perceive you makes social awareness & relationship management (2 of the 4 components of EQ) possible.

If you don’t know how others see you, it’s difficult to understand how you fit into the dynamics of a group & how your actions, words, etc. might affect others.

It’s also one of the ways you maintain your authenticity. Think of external self-awareness like an authenticity gauge. 🌡️

We see ourselves as all of the parts,
or ingredients, that make us.

Others often see the finished product, like
a warm chocolate chip cookie. 🍪

If we discover that others actually see
us as a brownie, we know we’re off base.

While our ingredients can technically make both cookies & brownies, only one is true to us.

To keep our internal & external self-awareness
in alignment, we need to present ourselves to
others as we actually are; or be authentic.

Seem like a tall order? 😅
Here’s what to do:

1️⃣ Be open, curious about, & receptive to feedback from others.
2️⃣ Observe others’ reactions to you (hesitation / coldness could be a sign of their uncertainty about you).
3️⃣ Consult a few trusted friends/mentors about how they see you.
4️⃣ Reflect on your actions, words, & decisions, confirming they match your true values, feelings, thoughts, etc.
5️⃣ Use all of your learnings as opportunities to be more visibly you.


“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”
– Joseph Campbell