How to Regulate Your Emotions

First, let’s clarify that ‘criticism’ is not the same as ‘feedback,’ right?
Do you tell your boss, or do I?
Anyway, here’s how to navigate your feelings after getting criticism.
So you can have a good conversation with your boss.
Just 6 questions to reflect on.

1.    “What happened?”
For example, you might say:
“Today at work, my boss criticized my presentation in front of the whole team.”
This question helps you focus on the actual event.
Many times, after receiving criticism, we focus only on the feeling of being criticized.
But it’s better to focus on what’s actually happened, right?

2.    “How did you see it or think about it?”
For example, you might say:
“I thought my boss was being unfair.
And I felt I must have done a terrible job”.
This part helps you check if your thoughts are too negative.
It also helps you figure out if there’s another way to look at the situation.

3.    “What did you feel, and how strong was it from 0 to 10?”
For example, you might say:
“I felt embarrassed and angry, around 8 out of 10.”

Now the question is:
→    Why does this question matter?

Because to better understand what we’re feeling, we need to:
→    Name those feelings
→    Figure out how strong they are

4.    “Did your feeling tell others something or make them act differently? How?”
For example, you might say:
“My embarrassment showed on my face
And my colleagues seemed more careful around me.
They could tell I was upset.”

Now the question is:
→    Why does it matter how your feelings affect others?
Because it shows how your reaction might change how people treat you.
And being aware of this helps you handle social situations better.”

5.    “Did your feeling make you want to do something? What?”
For example, you might say:
“My anger made me wanna leave the meeting immediately.
It also made me want to avoid my boss for the rest of the day.”

As we know, seeing what you wanted to do helps you decide:
→    If those actions are good
or
→    If there’s a better way to react.

6.    “Did your feeling change how you saw things or give you any new ideas? What?”
For example, you might say:
“My embarrassment made me feel like I wasn’t good at my job.
It also made me doubt my abilities for the rest of the day.”

Now the question is:
→ “Why does it matter how your feelings affected your perspective?”

Because it helps you catch and challenge negative thoughts about yourself