How To Become Empathetic And Master The Art Of Understanding Others

How do you become more empathetic?

Here’s a tool for you:
→    “In someone else’s shoes”

Let’s see how you can give it a go.
(We’ll also see a woman who just got divorced)

1.    So, for the next 30 days, do this:
→    Every day, pick a different person to practice with.

Don’t worry, you don’t have to talk to them.
You just need to observe them.

You can find them:
→    At work
→    At the bar
→    In the gym
→    On the bus
→    On the train

→    …
You just need to pick a different person every single day.
And of course, they have to be a person you don’t know.

2.    Alright! Now stick with me.
It’s 7:30 AM.
Imagine yourself in a bar.
And imagine you’ve picked that woman over there.
Do you see that woman with brown hair who seems to be in a hurry?
That’s right, just her!
Now all you have to do is answer 5 questions.
You can write them down, or you can simply think while looking at her.
“Uhm, what questions?”

Here are the 5 questions:
1.    Who is that person?
2.    What’s she thinking?
3.    What will she do next?
4.    What decision does she need to make in her life?
5.    What’s influencing her decision? (Her beliefs, other people…)
Now your question is:
→    Uhm, how can I do that? I don’t know that person!
I know.
In fact you have to ‘guess’.
Or better, you have to put yourself in her shoes and imagine her life.
Let’s see an example.

1.    Who is that person?
She’s Chloe, a 31-year-old woman.
She has just divorced her ex-husband.
She’s the mom of a 6-year-old child.

2.    What’s she thinking?
She’s thinking about the project she just started at work.
She’s also a bit worried that her ex-husband will forget to pick up her daughter from school at 1:30 p.m.

3.    What will she do next?
After finishing breakfast here, she’ll quickly head to the office.
Just a hundred meters away.

4.    What decision does she need to make in her life?
At this moment, she doesn’t know whether to tell her daughter the fact that she already has a new boyfriend.
She doesn’t know whether to tell her or wait.

5.    What’s influencing her decision? (Her beliefs, other people…)
Honestly, she doesn’t care about her ex-husband’s opinion.
But she does care about her parent’s opinion.
And she also believes that her daughter won’t be happy to know that her mom already has a new boyfriend.

This is how you can become more empathetic.
And I know what you’re thinking:
→    I don’t meet a different person every day!”

Well, if some days you don’t meet any person, you can do what I’ve just done:
→    You open a Google Doc
→    You think about a fake person
→    And you answer those 5 questions.

Simple as that.
Now the real answer is:
→    Are you willing to invest five minutes a day to become more empathetic?