Setting Limits with Self-Absorbed Talkers

For all their self involvement, narcissistic types are dependent on the approval of others. They feel most validated when they are interacting with “admirers.” Trouble is, even if you’re not exactly an admirer of theirs, you have the potential to be one as far as they’re concerned. Because they don’t have well-honed boundaries, narcissists are always apt to invade your physical and emotional space to talk about their favorite topic: themselves. This can make it very difficult to get your work done, unless you know how to set limits.

Looking Out for Space Invaders

Communication in the workplace can be very constructive. It’s beneficial to exchange ideas and information with coworkers, and convivial chitchat is part of a socially healthy work environment. But sometimes your workspace and your work mindset are continually interrupted by one of the following types:

The Barger: Bargers will stroll uninvited into your office, cubicle, or other personal work space, plop into a chair, maybe even put their feet up, and tell you more than you could possibly want to know about their day, their jobs, or their life.

The Lurker: Lurkers always seem to be hanging about in communal work spaces, such as the coffeemaker alcove, the copier nook, or the restroom.

The Shadow: Wherever you go, the Shadow goes, too. They’ll follow you down the hall, to the water cooler, into the lounge-yakking all the way.