Getting Ready to Cope with the Self Absorbed

All in all, it’s not too hard to see why dealing with the self absorption of narcissists can be a daunting prospect. Their sense of entitlement, their grandiose posturing and preoccupation with image, their obliviousness to the needs of others, their fickleness, and their continual encroaching of boundaries can be infuriating. Moreover, the fundamental insecurity that all these behaviors mask can rear its head in baffling, even frightening, ways. Narcissists can turn on a dime in how they feel about you and can treat you horribly if they feel their admiration and attention seeking agenda is being thwarted or ignored. Well look at the specific challenges of dealing with narcissists at work, in personal relationships, and in the great, wide world. Each of those will offer strategies that are specific to those circumstances. But as you get ready to deal with a narcissist in any circumstance, you should keep these general principles in mind.

Know yourself, control yourself.

Stay in touch with and in control of your feelings. The actions of narcissists can unleash powerful emotions in us. These may be positive (if they are in the process of courting and charming us) or negative. But because narcissists have weak personal boundaries, they are very good at “injecting” their own feeling into others. Whose feelings are whose? It’s not always easy to tell. If you sense you are in the company of a narcissist, take periodic inventory of what you’re feeling and consider why you’re feeling as you do. Never act impulsively on an intense feeling that seems to “overtake” you in their presence, but buy time and use it to take stock of who you are and what you need.