Coping with the Self-Centered at Work

Are there self-absorbed people in your work environment? Well, are there bears in the woods? Whether you work in an office, a service business, a school, a store, or a factory, the answer is probably yes. Self-centeredness, also known as narcissism, is a widespread phenomenon for all the reasons discussed in the last chapter, including a culture that reinforces needy, greedy “me-ness” But self-centered narcissists, for all their grandiose notions about themselves, still have to make a living. At work, you might find self-centered people working alongside you. You might work for one, or have one working for you. Maybe you have multiple narcissists in your work environment-all focused on their needs to the exclusion of everyone and everything else. This shows you how to cope with them so that their self-promoting behavior doesn’t make you feel like a cipher or, worse, truly turn you into an “invisible” employee.

Spotting the Self-Centered

When you first run into a self-centered person in the workplace, you might not realize that their agenda is strictly self-promotion. Narcissists might strike you as driven go-getters with healthy dollops of ambition. At first you might even admire their drive. After all, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to get ahead, is there? But then it dawns on you. This person’s drive is so single-minded that they make you feel immaterial except perhaps as a steppingstone to their success. If someone you work with, work for, or service has a way of ignoring you except when you serve their needs, that’s a certain tipoff that they are the center of their own universe. As far as they’re concerned, everyone else is a distant planet. You might as well be Pluto.