Fear Of Loneliness

It’s no wonder we dread being alone. All our lives, we’ve been primed to fear it. The kid who played by themself in the playground? They were called a loner. The one who had a birthday party, when the cool kids didn’t show up? They felt unpopular. Not being able to find a plus one for the wedding makes us feel like losers. The terrifying prospect of having to sit alone during lunch is such a common theme in high school movies that Steven Glasberg, a throwaway cameo in Superbad, has made it into the Urban Dictionary as “that kid who sits alone at lunch every day, eating his dessert.” It was drummed into us that we had to have a prom date, to fill our yearbooks with signatures, to be surrounded by a squad of friends. Being alone meant being lonely. Loneliness has been cast as the enemy of joy, growth, and love. We imagine ourselves stranded on an island, lost, confused, and helpless, like Tom Hanks in Cast Away with nobody but a volleyball named Wilson to talk to. Loneliness is the last resort. A place no one wants to visit, let alone live.