When the Four Tendencies Pair Up

No relationship is doomed, or assured, based on the Tendencies. Nevertheless, when people from different Tendencies pair up-as romantic partners, as parent and child, as colleagues, or any other kind of pairing-certain patterns tend to emerge. When we first meet someone, we’re often attracted to the very qualities that, over time, will drive us nuts. An Upholder might initially be intrigued by a Rebel’s refusal to play by the rules, and the Rebel may be drawn to the Upholder’s ability to get things done but five years into the marriage, those qualities look much less attractive. It’s not the only thing that matters, of course, but understanding the Four Tendencies can give us a useful insight into our relationships.