The Four Tendencies

Why It’s Helpful to Identify Our Own Tendency

When I describe the Four Tendencies, I sometimes get the impression that people try to figure out the “best” Tendency and shoehorn themselves info it. But there’s no best or worst Tendency. The happiest, healthiest, most productive people aren’t those from a particular Tendency, but rather they’re the people who have figured out how to harness the strengths of their Tendency, counteract the weaknesses, and build the lives that work for them. With wisdom, experience, and self-knowledge from the Four Tendencies, we can use our time more productively, make better decisions, suffer less stress, get healthier, and engage more effectively with other people. If we don’t understand our place in the Four Tendencies, however, we may fail to pinpoint the aspects of a particular situation that’s causing us to succeed or fail. For instance, a literary agent told me, “I represent a journalist who did excellent work at a newspaper. No trouble with deadlines, great work ethic. Bu now he’s on leave from the paper to write a book, and he’s got writer’s block.” If we don’t understand the Four Tendencies, we may have unrealistic assumptions of how people may change.

A woman wrote, “My husband is a Rebel. I feel frustrated thinking that this is actually his character and that he’ll never change. Is it possible that a Rebel is just someone who hasn’t “grown up” and realized that the world doesn’t run on doing only what you “feel like” doing at the moment? And that he will eventually change his attitude?” I didn’t want to say it bluntly in my response, but gosh, no, at this point I don’t think he’ll change.