Identify The New You

I think one of the hardest things about going through a world-rocking, life-changing experience is that you come out the other side as someone totally different, only your mind is still processing what’s happened as who you were not as who you are now. It’s like one of those sci-fi movies when the spaceship moves into hyperdrive or warp speed or whatever they call it and then the galaxies all blur into streaks and suddenly the Enterprise is in another dimension. You have become something else. You’ve moved on to an entirely new dimension but your sense of self-the you that makes up your thoughts and feelings-is still the you who you always were.

Life is so rude sometimes. In my opinion, there are four different kinds of identity crisis as it pertains to loss/pain/grief:

1. You had an identity and it was taken away from you- “I was a great worker, but my company laid me off. Now I’m just unemployed.”

2. You want an identity that is denied to you-“I wanted to be a mom so badly, but the IVF treatment didn’t work and I’m devastated.”

3. You chose and identity and no longer want it-“I thought that I was happy as a stay-at-home mom, but actually, I’m depressed and not a good mama to my kids.”

4. Someone else chose an identity for you that isn’t who you are- “Being in this management role keeps me from being creative, but my boss thinks I’m needed here. I feel like I’m dying inside.”