Heightened Shame: The Feeling That You’ll Never Be Enough, No Matter What

Shame is a result of the deep seated belief that something is wrong with us; that we are bad. It is even deeper than guilt. Guilt is based on external events it’s about doing something wrong. Shame is based on internal beliefs it’s about feeling something is wrong with you. Shame is often internalized from what others say to you or how they treat you. Some examples of how shame shows up: if you felt sad as a child and were told you shouldn’t feel that way instead of being supported and heard, you might have internalized that you are wrong to be sad. If you knew you were queer but were told being queer is wrong, you might have internalized that you are wrong to be queer. Shame is at the core of so much of our hurt. Shame is in constant battle with our worthiness, and it really doesn’t like to lose. What’s worse is that we are often then given the message to ignore shame completely to suck it up, to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, to move on. In some sense, these things can help; in another, they deny us the opportunity to move through our shame.

#stewartlifecoaching #youarealwaysenough #guiltyishurtful